"I think about that empty space a lot. That emptiness is what allows for something to actually evolve in a natural way. I've had to learn that over the years - because one of the traps of being an artist is to always want to be creating, always wanting to produce."

Creation

"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day."

Definition

"Always retain the ability to walk away, without sentimentality, from a situation that felt unmanageable. That was a basic rule of survival. Don't lift a finger for a lost cause."

Evolution

So maybe I'm a masochist

I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave
til the walls are goin' up
in smoke with all our memories

-Rihanna

The Elements

"True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us."

Knowing

Every now and then, there's moments of total clarity.

where you just understand it all, 

and everything that anyone ever said makes perfect sense,

and you know the reasons they said it all,

and you're everything they said you were.

But you understand it on a different level,

and you know things that they don't.

And you believe in all the steps that brought you to where you are,

but still know nothing about where you are going.

It's a moment of despair and hope,

honesty and reality,

congruencey and momentum,

and fear.

So what do you do with it?

Let it sink it,

absorb the moment,

take what you can,

leave what you can't take.

Know that your understanding of the moment can never be fully grasped by another.

Know that your staring into the moment of the most honest reflection you ever could.

Count your blessings,

not your imperfections.

Reflect.

Readjust.

There's no possible way to take it all in, because the honesty is overwhelming, 

but you just know that you know.

And every now and then, when everything gets fuzzy,

there will be another moment that comes...

and if nothing else this is the way life works.

It comes in waves, offering you the opportunities to understand what you can handle, learn what you are capable of,

 and then it will leave you alone again.

But. its. so. real.

And not everyone can see it the way you do,

and it's not going to make sense to everyone in the same way.

But in the end it doesn't matter.

Because people will leave you,

stories will end,

endings will change,

moments will evolve,

opportunities will arise,

knowledge will grow,

hearts will be broken,

but this is the honest truth.

The most important thing, 

take time to reflect and realize and readjust.

It moves faster then you can keep up with,'

but do your best.

Stay optimistic, but don't lose touch with your own reality.

Look for the moments.

Never settle,

never quit,

keep looking until you find it...

you'll find what you're looking for...

or you'll find there is nothing to find,

either way.

It matters.

"To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what New Year's is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be."

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. "

DO you see the sun shinning behind the clouds? Do you see the light penetrating the ground? Do you know even on the cloudiest of days, somewhere, behind layer upon layer of grey, the sun still shines? And it's still bright even on the darkest of days? Never forget the beauty and the omnipotence of the sun, and the persistence of it. Even the quietest sunset is followed by a transforming sun rise.

When you just need someone to remind you that it's
All gonna be ok I will shine the light.
I will shine the light. - SUGARLAND

      

“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.”

I'm trying to put it all back together.
I've got a story and I'm trying to tell it right.
I got the kerosene and a desire.
I'm trying to start a flame in the heart of the night

-the fray

"Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element." -Audrey Niffenegger

Gratitude and Thankfulness... for the intangible gifts in life.

A new year has arrived,

hopefulness for times to come,

appreciation for change.

The beauty in the adventures of living.

The reflection of past behavior,

the measurement of personal growth.

I conquered myself, I conquered a city.

I pushed harder, longer, then I ever thought possible.

Reached new limits, traveled through the skies,

reconnected with old friends, reconnected with old habits.

danced. laughed. cried. 

I learned patience, i learned endurance.

I learned  that i hold a map and wear a parachute.

I'm adaptable and transformable.

I learned that not knowing is okay.

I learned that love is hard.

I learned the beauty in the fight, and I learned the beauty of letting things go.

I listened to good music.

I filled the empty spaces.

I maintained a relationship.

I looked for beauty.

I found it.

I opened all the doors and windows,

I let someone else take the wheel.

I'm becoming me,

the real version.

I understand better then I ever did before.

I'm open to change. 

I'm propelling myself into the adventures this year is going to bring.

Things I'm carrying with me and holding close,

things I'm leaving behind.

People I know will reappear,

people that for some reason or another have disappeared.

I want to love harder,

live braver,

dance crazier,

and enjoy the beauty of living.

Happy 2012

"I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone...

...but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight."

Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now

I could have been someone and so could anyoneI took my dreams from you when I first met you

I kept them with me, babe, and put them with my own
I can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you.

Fairytale of New York

The One that Got Away

Remember the glowing lights on the sidewalk.

Remember the hope in our hearts, remember the excitement in our eyes.

Remember when I believed this would be forever?

Remember holding hands in the snow?

Remember when you were young and innocent, remember how sweet that felt.

Remember four in a row, all eyes on the one.

Remember staying up too late and waking up too early?

Remember when it felt like home.

Remember when it felt like forever.

Remember feeling invincible? 

Remember falling in love, hard and fast.

Remember never wanting to forget.

Remember knowing for sure everything was going to be okay.

Remember knowing what you wanted from every situation?

Remember laughing, so much laughing.

Remember the necklace, the blue one?

Remember breakfast in bed.

Remember broken promises.

Remember lazy days, and wrapping paper on the floor?

Remember the candles and the music.

Remember the magic?

I remember.

I want to feel invincible 

and 

I want to laugh.

So much laughter.

Merry Christmas to the one that got away.

Please try and remember.

“Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance”

“You can live your whole life not realizing that what you're looking for is right in front of you.” 

"When all is said and done, you are part of me. That's the way it was meant to be. People are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason. I believe the reason that you and me were brought together was because we complete one another. We fill in each other's missing spots..."

The thing I've been thinking about the most, is this. Time. Such a brutal means of defining life. Age. Youth. What does it mean...how does perspective evolve with time? Seems such an unfair treatment to define ones person with the number of their age. Its not fair to judge a person off something they have absolutely no control over. But it does matter. It all matters. Because in the end, how old you are is telling of the capacity you have to have experienced life. You can only fit so much into a short amount of time. When you've undergone minimum experiences then everything matters so much more. Your perspective is shrunk, you're appreciation for life is limitless, and you are free. Scared and new, but free. And with the small amounts of wisdom you make decisions to the best of your capacity. Once you become older your perspective grows but everything else shrinks. You lose invincibility. You lose spontaneity. But you trade in the angst and the searching. You settle, you find someone that makes growing older more bearable.

 Age is just as much a handicap as time. Another mark another label-one more thing you have to answer too. Don't presume I am any different. 

"She’s moving on without you The tide breaks You watch the stars fade They gather you back to their home I guess it’s better than being alone."

"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome." -Anonymous

I can't get to bed 

But I'm really tired 

The things in my head 

You used to admire 

In your sundrenched world

Sometimes. I'm really glad I'm me. I'm glad I think they way I do, I'm glad I feel the way I do. I cherish my own perspectives and count all my blessings. I'd hate to lose myself. I appreciate everything about me, more then I know. More then I care to remember sometimes. It's important to know that in order to love all of yourself you even have to learn to love the things you hate.

Can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could

Some days you're the only person I want to talk too.

I forget the impossible and dream my dreams into reality.

Endure the worse for the better times.

I think maybe even when you don't understand, the comfort of just having you...

that makes everything okay.

Sometimes, some days, it just makes it harder-more lonely.

But I push through those times and wait for the pay off...

Knowing that I'll never really understand it all.

Someday though...just so you know...

some days you're the only person I want to talk too. 

"And I remember the truth, a warm December with you. But I don't have to make this mistake, and I don't have to stay this way. If only I would wake-The walk has all been cleared by now
Your voice is all I hear somehow. Calling out Winter."

-Joshua Radin

“If you ask people what they've always wanted to do, most people haven't done it. That breaks my heart.”

I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and thinking about grown-up things. I would go to my bedroom window and stare at my reflection in the glass and the trees behind it and just listen to the song for hours. I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person. And I didn’t mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways. Perks of Being a Wallflower

"We can begin by stepping away from the hectic world, finding a quiet place and just sitting with ourselves. At first you might notice that it is hard to switch off the mind's chattering and get quiet within. But the mind's chatter might be a valuable aid at this beginning point, in that its content can give us our first insights into our deeper self." (On exploring emotional intimacy)

"Climbing is unadulterated hard labor. The only real pleasure is the satisfaction of going where no man has been before and where few can follow"

.

"McCandless went into the wilderness not primarily to ponder nature or world at large but, rather, to explore the inner country of his own soul" 

In another life. I would be your girl. We'd keep all our promises. Be us against the world. In another life. I would make you stay. So I don't have to say. You were the one that got away. -Katy Perry

Listen. The point is I have a lot on my mind right now. I'm just trying to figure it all out. 

What it means, how to handle it, what to do next.

Just like you do, it's the same. I'm exploring my inner self.

I work on it. I fail. I"m not perfect. But every day is  a new  start and a chance to do better.

Learning the what I like, what I don't. What to keep, what to change.

Everyone has problems, no one is perfect.

It's about at least making the effort to mend.

Everything else will fall into place. 

Patience.

The key is too treat the issue with delicacy.

Applaud improvement.

Nothing that's worth it ever comes easy.

You're voice is only heard when you speak up.

Don't forget to celebrate .

Dance. 

Remind yourself about the basics.

Show gratitude.

Count your blessings.

Such a clique I know, but really. Think about your opportunities.

Walk in someone else's shoes.

Be brave.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

"The more you love yourself, the easier it becomes for you to spend time with yourself and actually enjoy the silence of your own thoughts and ideas and personality. It also begins to tell the universe that you deserve those things that you desire and want in your life and allows the universe to begin to align itself in ways that will allow you to get what you want."

"Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top." -Virginia Woolf

Moon

And I can barely look at you 
But every single time I do 
I know we'll make it anywhere 
Away from here 

Light up, light up 
As if you have a choice 
Even if you cannot hear my voice 
I'll be right beside you dear 





Louder louder 

And we'll run for our lives 
I can hardly speak I understand
Run. Snow Patrol.



































but there's only one thing on my mind searching boxes underneath the counter on a chance that on a tape I'd find  a song for  someone who needs somewhere to long forhomesick cause I no longer know where home is
homesick. kings of convenience


























































Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
-Sylvia Plath











I want to feel inspired.
I want to feel repaired.
I want to understand it all.
Everything matters.
 Actions, words, what you do say, what you don't say.
I cannot shut of this endless streaming of thought.
Everything matters,
while it may not last
I hold onto it.
It's permanent.
Everlasting.
Don't damage the perfection.
Don't taint the image.
Breath it in, exhale.
I can't understand the only thing that matters.
Answers. Answer. Answers.
Love. Beauty. Truth. Passion.
Patience.
Dancing.
Everything matters.
Frustration, invention, exploration.
A sad song, a truth.
I know it all, I've been there,
the road well traveled.
I walk alone.
Into the wild.
Under the night sky.
Darkness.
Light.
It all matters.