"When was the last time you wanted to say it all to the right person? To have it all come out right, to surprise yourself at how together you could be. When was the last time you ever met someone who made you want to give it all to them? I mean give yourself to them...

....Where you couldn't express yourself enough - like you wanted to cut off one of your arms to be understood. That's it - you would cut your head off to have someone understand you. You know how pointless that one is. You know how many times you've smashed yourself to bits on the rocks.”

"My feelings for you shame me into silence. The truth of this and your name will never be revealed. It is you who has made me realize the failure of my life. The thought of you fills me with longing and at the same time, a burning humiliation that produces scar tissue and dead brain cells. Your existence mocks me and I am unable to confront this. You have no idea of any of this. None of this is your fault. It is completely with me. It is you who makes me see what I really am. I am weak and out of touch with myself."

Quotes by Henry Rollins

I am in love with my life.

Okay, this may not be completely true...but in general, I really do love my life. I was about to go into specifics but I decided against it as the stories of my experiences are not completely mine to tell. But I have learned a lot about life through the inspection of the people around me and their struggles and triumphs...there have been many this year. It seems like an endless string of honest life events lately and I can't help but feel slightly in awe of the "bigger picture." So much is unknown, and I truly believe that life is a constant learning process. Dealing with what comes day to day is a challenge I'm learning to master...life is a constant balancing act. Appreciating every moment as an opportunity to learn and observe. So much of life is just dealing with it. The unplanned, the unexpected, and the unpredictable...that's what keeps things interesting. I feel blessed in so many ways and I feel challenged in all the same. I think challenges are blessings because they create a sense of character and force you into honest introspection. I have learned that LOVE can be shown in all types of ways and you are the only true judge of the sincerity of the love you give and only you can accept or reject the love that is shown to you. I feel so ridiculously in touch with myself. I feel so free and so fluid. There is an endless possibility of scenarios and I can't wait to discover my path. And It's an accomplishment because so often I feel incredibly lost. But lately even the things that don't really make sense have begun to seem logical. It's this perfect balance of understanding my thoughts and actions and being able to relate them to life in a really real way. I may be able to truly appreciate things I have never appreciated before, in this way.

Come on February, I'm ready!!!!!!!!!