"They say it's what you make I say it's up to fate It's woven in my soul I need to let you go Your eyes, they shine so bright I want to save their light I can't escape this now Unless you show me how..."

And when I looked at you, staring intently into my eyes, it was everything familiar flooding back into every piece of me. The dreams of when I was a child, the memories of hopefulness. A blessing of calm soaking into my soul. And all that had mattered so deeply once, melted away. You breathed life into a meaningless void. There is no peace I've ever felt like when you're around me, there is no joy that's ever been so truly celebrated like the joy you bring. And I can only hope and pray that somewhere...somewhere down the line...our paths will cross again.

And I when you told me it would always be this way, forever and ever, I didn't believe you-because I knew the truth...that no two people could ever continue on this way...in perfect happiness, together until the ends of time, like two stars twinkling in the night sky. 

Some days I can't even trust myself
It's killing me to see you this way

'Cause though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

of monsters and men.

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."

I remember everything like it just happened yesterday,

the streets we drove,  the moments that mattered, the songs we sang,

what we laughed about, cried about, stressed about,

what made us celebrate and jump for joy.

The scary stuff we did,

the way we lived like we were invincible in our naiive youthfulness.

But then I wake up and realize that so much time has passed,

and here I am yet again,

rushing a million miles an hour towards some unknown destination.

But it's confusing to see the similarities in the differences,

and the differences in the similarities.

If you were me, 

if you were in this situation, 

then you'd know exactly what I mean when i say that.

I keep diving headfirst into  the waves that keep pushing me backwards.

But yet, each time it's a little different...

each time a tiny bit of clarity is gained.

And i have hope in the gigantic void that is life.

And i feel refreshed, and i savor the chance for another chance.

Will i be the girl who's dreams always come true?

and once that happens realize I was stuck in the wrong dream?

I can't help but know there is an epic-ness about the upcoming.

There has always been a platform being built,

i'm just waiting until it's big enough to climb on top of,

and I want to stand there and announce to the world,

I fucking made it.

I'm here.

Living with no regrets,

knowledge of consequence and reaction to action.

I'm aware.

Living bravely, taking chances, being bold.

Keeping faith in the dark times,

surviving emptiness.

Patience, patience, patience,

allowing life to unfold as it's meant too,

taking cues when they are given,

moving forward, faster, slower, faster...

I get how this works, 

I'm a weathered veteran.

My spirit is unbroken and my eyes are set ahead,

making each moment count.

Life is so short, shorter then we think,

when time seems endless, and stretches ahead of us,

there is a sunset for every sunrise.

Please don't take it for granted. 

I don't understand love, and I don't think I ever will-

but love anyways.

Because there is no life, no living, true living,

without love.

I think we are all connected in some weird way,

what is this invisible bond?

Love.

Hope.

Beauty.

Passion.

Everything that matters,

it all matters.

But I know this, in the familiarity of unfamiliarity,

press forward and keep moving.

Some day the  invisible lines will appear in a clear path,

then everything will make sense.

Wait for that moment, and don't lose faith.

Accept the gradual changes in life,

adapt to the sudden changes in life.

Your time will come.

It always does, for everyone...

All I can say  about it  is this:

transforming anonymously is the quietest beauty,

patience is a well practiced skill, 

work at it every day,

it will not just happen.

Give love when it does't make sense,

give love when you don't feel deserving,

give love when it feels like you have nothing else to give.

Indulge in beauty,

soak it in, immerse yourself in it,

celebrate it at every chance.

Never that the passion of new adventures die,

fight with every ounce of strength to never be ordinary,

never be average, 

never settle.

And remain faithful to the idea that it will one day make sense,

and 

that

it. all. matters.

"Well I came home.Like a stone.And I fell heavy into your arms.These days of dust.Which we've known.Will blow away with this new sun.But I'll kneel down wait for now.And I'll kneel down.Know my ground.And I will wait I will wait for you."

Mumford and Sons.