"They hung a star over 5th Avenue, Like a beacon that's calling you home.... With our gifts we come looking for comfort, May we find in each other we're not so alone..."

“I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?”

One day, we'll take a trip on a boat like that. 

Would you like that?

We'll be dressing for cocktails and walk into the grand salon. 

No one's talking about war. 

They're just dancing to Cole Porter...

Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you

You know what I want...

More of those perfect moments in life,

Where you feel like time stands still,

and everything in the entire universe has come together 

to bring this one second about...

Its when you feel like everything makes sense

 and nothing else could possibly be more important then

 being right where you are 

doing right what you're doing. 

Well maybe its selfish I think that way,

Or maybe not...

Because I've had those moments...

 Where life just comes into focus crystal clear

 and everything matters

 and it gets sealed into your memory 

like a proud battle wound ...

And I capture those moments by

 the smell in the air,

 the sound of a voice, 

a quiet song playing in the background,

 the way the lights brightened the room.

And then

 all it takes is one tiny prodding of the senses

 and I'm back in it...

Everything else that matters doesn't, 

I'm right in the middle of invincibility and possibility. 

So why wouldn't I want more perfect moments...

Something to hold onto when my world starts to slip away...

Something that makes me matter when I feel invisible...

Possibility replaces impossibility.

And about that song...

I cannot emphasize enough,

How grateful I am for that song.

The one that grabs me and brings me back... 

Sucks me through a portal,

My time machine...

Jumping backwards

into the has beens 

and where afters...

I promise I won't forget.

Even when I'm working my hardest

 to conjure every tiny moment,

 I'll fight until my memory has gone completely extinct. 

And when I look back and piece it all together 

its even more beautiful.

And my gratitude remains

 and my humility is exposed.

And I know that it all matters... 

It still matters. 

Sometimes when things are happening you don't knowthe purpose,

But that's when you have to decide to have 

the faith to believe its setting you up for that perfect moment 

 you have the patience to let everything fall into place. 

Because let me tell you... 

It's the memory that makes it the sweetest

It becomes lifes quiet gift back,

 in the form of the warmest most perfect feeling.

I think others might call this love, 

but im not sure.

I've never understood love, 

and maybe I never will 

but I'm going to try.

Because if love produces those perfect moments in life,

I want more. 

I will fall and fall and fall continually...

For just even one more moment.

Then every year,

When the sky turns cold and the ground frosts over...

On the first snow fall in December 

under the Christmas lights

 surrounded by the smell of pine...

I can find another moment like the one I hold so close to my heart.

Where the tingles start at my toes and climb all the up my body...

And every single other person 

and every single thing

 completely fades away

 and its just me here with you.

And in that moment I find the most truthful and beautiful form of perfection...

It's the look in your eyes

 and the things you don't say...

It's everything that I feel and don't feel.

And I want you to know...

The ground is frosting over each morning, and soon snow will be here...

And like each year around this time,

I'll remember you and that moment.

I will count my blessings. 

I will demand myself to stretch further and live harder...

I will open my mind and my heart to the possibility...

I will love and believe in love,

Even though I don't understand it...

Because really... 

You should never take anything for granted in life...

I'm not. 

It all matters,

And you may not get another perfect moment...

Life goes its own course and you are simply a sailor at dawn...

So appreciate it all,

Hold the memories you have close...

And please don't forget to love.