"He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself."
“In this world, it is too common for people to search for someone to lose themselves in. But I am already lost. I will look for someone to find myself in.”
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| Chicago |
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| Manhattan |
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| San Francisco |
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| Boston |
"It eluded us then, but that's no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning-- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
For the things to never be left unsaid, and things to remain the way they are supposed to be:
Dear Friend, you'been such a blissful companion in the time that we've shared,
never a moment of reality sinking in, with fairy tale coincidences...
enough to wonder what I did to deserve such a chance encounter.
Yet time passes and people grow far and farther with distance and we are yet again at a crossroad.
But endless gratitude for the many conversations we shared,
the secrets we've exchanged, the honest words that we crossed.
Simple messages, quiet acknowledgements...
It's you and you alone that have carried me through the darkest of days
and it's your voice that I can hear the loudest cheering and celebrating from the sidelines.
Gifts of unconditional friendship, a relationship that came about at the time when it matter the most,
but then again-I guess it all matters.
And in so many ways I wish it could have been different, but then it would have been ruined.
Keeping yourself two steps away from the perfect scenario creates a beautiful transformation.
When it first began, it was seed planted and it grew into something amazing.
No one shared the connection we did-a telepathy of the deepest most vulnerable friendship.
Sometimes the only person I ever had on my side,
sometimes the only person I ever wanted on my side.
But we did not withstand the storm that uprooted us,
and looking back on it all now-it's never been the same.
Gratitude remains for the lessons learned,
the thickening of skin,
the opening of barriers,
you brought me into a part of myself that no one else could.
You drifted into my world as quietly as the snow that was falling.
Through it all you saw something about me instantly, that I had just learned about myself.
It was the beginning of a new hope and new enthusiasm for the way things could be.
Your smile and your look reminded me that I could be appreciated for the honest version.
You asked questions when no one else did,
and you trusted me with everything.
And i want to tell you that sometimes just allowing someone else to see you vulnerable speaks louder.
You showed me how to maintain relationships , even when you yourself were broken.
Also-I wanted to tell you all that life is funny sometimes,
the way it works in repeat patterns.
Unbelievable things have happened-and I sit and think and think,
and try to fit the puzzle pieces together,
track the patters and motions ,
the ups and downs of every action...
Like a mad scientist-analyzing and over analyzing the whys and the whats and the whens and the wheres.
I've seem people that have come and gone,
some stay for a while, others quickly pass through.
Thirsty for the knowledge, I drink as much of your wisdom as I can before you are gone.
Try to hang onto every single work, every single look ,
trying relentlessly to gather whatever materials I can to make a better of version of self.
But when you are gone...and you will leave...amazing things begin to happen.
Things you wouldn't believe because I don't believe them and it's me they've happened too.
Some day I want to write it all down, in a coherent manner-
so you can know that things that I have been through.
So you can see every coincidence and serendipitous moment documented in the way I know them to be true.
And yes, sometimes it's really a heavy burden to carry-
and there are times when I cannot bear it.
But then the transformation happens,
the growth and evolution of the trials sprout into something amazing.
The beauty of trying to be better version of self,
enduring the struggles,
allowing the relationships to come and go,
drifting like a runaway in the night,
and I realize that it's all going to be fine.
In fact, it's you that have shown this to me.
The way you keep pace of how time passes by,
the gentle observations you make,
the care you take when dealing with the changes.
Even when I feel the most shocked by all the things I know,
even when the most unbelievable loop comes around again,
you always understand in a way only you could.
And it reassures me.
It reminds me to be patient and hopeful.
It allows me to proceed with courage and to be brave, even through the hard stuff.
It helps me stop and think, take a breath, appreciate beauty.
It forces me to love the way we are meant to love.
And it's because of you I know that I must continually work at transformation.
It's because of you I keep on trying to evolve daily into a better version of self.
And it's because of you I know it all matters.
So thank you.