"I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone...

...but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight."

Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now

I could have been someone and so could anyoneI took my dreams from you when I first met you

I kept them with me, babe, and put them with my own
I can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you.

Fairytale of New York

The One that Got Away

Remember the glowing lights on the sidewalk.

Remember the hope in our hearts, remember the excitement in our eyes.

Remember when I believed this would be forever?

Remember holding hands in the snow?

Remember when you were young and innocent, remember how sweet that felt.

Remember four in a row, all eyes on the one.

Remember staying up too late and waking up too early?

Remember when it felt like home.

Remember when it felt like forever.

Remember feeling invincible? 

Remember falling in love, hard and fast.

Remember never wanting to forget.

Remember knowing for sure everything was going to be okay.

Remember knowing what you wanted from every situation?

Remember laughing, so much laughing.

Remember the necklace, the blue one?

Remember breakfast in bed.

Remember broken promises.

Remember lazy days, and wrapping paper on the floor?

Remember the candles and the music.

Remember the magic?

I remember.

I want to feel invincible 

and 

I want to laugh.

So much laughter.

Merry Christmas to the one that got away.

Please try and remember.

“Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance”

“You can live your whole life not realizing that what you're looking for is right in front of you.” 

"When all is said and done, you are part of me. That's the way it was meant to be. People are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason. I believe the reason that you and me were brought together was because we complete one another. We fill in each other's missing spots..."

The thing I've been thinking about the most, is this. Time. Such a brutal means of defining life. Age. Youth. What does it mean...how does perspective evolve with time? Seems such an unfair treatment to define ones person with the number of their age. Its not fair to judge a person off something they have absolutely no control over. But it does matter. It all matters. Because in the end, how old you are is telling of the capacity you have to have experienced life. You can only fit so much into a short amount of time. When you've undergone minimum experiences then everything matters so much more. Your perspective is shrunk, you're appreciation for life is limitless, and you are free. Scared and new, but free. And with the small amounts of wisdom you make decisions to the best of your capacity. Once you become older your perspective grows but everything else shrinks. You lose invincibility. You lose spontaneity. But you trade in the angst and the searching. You settle, you find someone that makes growing older more bearable.

 Age is just as much a handicap as time. Another mark another label-one more thing you have to answer too. Don't presume I am any different. 

"She’s moving on without you The tide breaks You watch the stars fade They gather you back to their home I guess it’s better than being alone."

"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome." -Anonymous

I can't get to bed 

But I'm really tired 

The things in my head 

You used to admire 

In your sundrenched world

Sometimes. I'm really glad I'm me. I'm glad I think they way I do, I'm glad I feel the way I do. I cherish my own perspectives and count all my blessings. I'd hate to lose myself. I appreciate everything about me, more then I know. More then I care to remember sometimes. It's important to know that in order to love all of yourself you even have to learn to love the things you hate.

Can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could

Some days you're the only person I want to talk too.

I forget the impossible and dream my dreams into reality.

Endure the worse for the better times.

I think maybe even when you don't understand, the comfort of just having you...

that makes everything okay.

Sometimes, some days, it just makes it harder-more lonely.

But I push through those times and wait for the pay off...

Knowing that I'll never really understand it all.

Someday though...just so you know...

some days you're the only person I want to talk too. 

"And I remember the truth, a warm December with you. But I don't have to make this mistake, and I don't have to stay this way. If only I would wake-The walk has all been cleared by now
Your voice is all I hear somehow. Calling out Winter."

-Joshua Radin

“If you ask people what they've always wanted to do, most people haven't done it. That breaks my heart.”

I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and thinking about grown-up things. I would go to my bedroom window and stare at my reflection in the glass and the trees behind it and just listen to the song for hours. I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person. And I didn’t mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways. Perks of Being a Wallflower

"We can begin by stepping away from the hectic world, finding a quiet place and just sitting with ourselves. At first you might notice that it is hard to switch off the mind's chattering and get quiet within. But the mind's chatter might be a valuable aid at this beginning point, in that its content can give us our first insights into our deeper self." (On exploring emotional intimacy)

"Climbing is unadulterated hard labor. The only real pleasure is the satisfaction of going where no man has been before and where few can follow"

.

"McCandless went into the wilderness not primarily to ponder nature or world at large but, rather, to explore the inner country of his own soul" 

In another life. I would be your girl. We'd keep all our promises. Be us against the world. In another life. I would make you stay. So I don't have to say. You were the one that got away. -Katy Perry

Listen. The point is I have a lot on my mind right now. I'm just trying to figure it all out. 

What it means, how to handle it, what to do next.

Just like you do, it's the same. I'm exploring my inner self.

I work on it. I fail. I"m not perfect. But every day is  a new  start and a chance to do better.

Learning the what I like, what I don't. What to keep, what to change.

Everyone has problems, no one is perfect.

It's about at least making the effort to mend.

Everything else will fall into place. 

Patience.

The key is too treat the issue with delicacy.

Applaud improvement.

Nothing that's worth it ever comes easy.

You're voice is only heard when you speak up.

Don't forget to celebrate .

Dance. 

Remind yourself about the basics.

Show gratitude.

Count your blessings.

Such a clique I know, but really. Think about your opportunities.

Walk in someone else's shoes.

Be brave.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

"The more you love yourself, the easier it becomes for you to spend time with yourself and actually enjoy the silence of your own thoughts and ideas and personality. It also begins to tell the universe that you deserve those things that you desire and want in your life and allows the universe to begin to align itself in ways that will allow you to get what you want."

"Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top." -Virginia Woolf

Moon

And I can barely look at you 
But every single time I do 
I know we'll make it anywhere 
Away from here 

Light up, light up 
As if you have a choice 
Even if you cannot hear my voice 
I'll be right beside you dear 





Louder louder 

And we'll run for our lives 
I can hardly speak I understand
Run. Snow Patrol.



































but there's only one thing on my mind searching boxes underneath the counter on a chance that on a tape I'd find  a song for  someone who needs somewhere to long forhomesick cause I no longer know where home is
homesick. kings of convenience


























































Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
-Sylvia Plath











I want to feel inspired.
I want to feel repaired.
I want to understand it all.
Everything matters.
 Actions, words, what you do say, what you don't say.
I cannot shut of this endless streaming of thought.
Everything matters,
while it may not last
I hold onto it.
It's permanent.
Everlasting.
Don't damage the perfection.
Don't taint the image.
Breath it in, exhale.
I can't understand the only thing that matters.
Answers. Answer. Answers.
Love. Beauty. Truth. Passion.
Patience.
Dancing.
Everything matters.
Frustration, invention, exploration.
A sad song, a truth.
I know it all, I've been there,
the road well traveled.
I walk alone.
Into the wild.
Under the night sky.
Darkness.
Light.
It all matters.

"I have long thought that anyone who does not regularly - or ever - gaze up and see the wonder and glory of a dark night sky filled with countless stars loses a sense of their fundamental connectedness to the universe."

the way I feel

the power to steal a moment,

to seal a glance,

in every word that's breathed

until your last.

my heart knows what my head cannot hide,

deny it no more

even though I have tried.

how strange and intriguing,

is this quiet tormenting.

myself i'm deceiving,

as my heart is fermenting.

“We do not live an equal life, but one of contrasts and patchwork; now a little joy, then a sorrow, now a sin, then a generous or brave action”

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."

PLEASE NEVER FORGET ME ONCE I'M GONE.

"Normal day,

 let me be aware of the treasure you are.  

Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.  

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. 

 Let me hold you while I may, 

for it may not always be so.  

One day I shall 

dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or 

raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, 

your return." 

"Will you say to me when I’m gone-Your face has faded but lingers on - 'Cause light strikes a deal with each coming night"

“The human condition is such that pain and effort are not just symptoms which can be removed without changing life itself; they are the modes in which life itself, together with the necessity to which it is bound, makes itself felt." 

I know. Baby I’m just fighting you know,

fighting for my family. I don’t know what

to do, I don’t know what else to do. Tell

me what to do, tell me what to do.

I don’t know what to do.

Tell me how I should be.

I don’t know.

Just tell me, I’ll do it, I’ll do it.

I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry, I

don’t know what to do anymore.

Just tell me and I’ll do it.

-Blue VALENTINE

There is no remedy for love but to love more.   -Henry David Thoreau

There's a lot I understand about life and living and people. I know interaction and communication. I know basic needs. I understand human complexities. What I don't understand is love. I know it. I feel it. It's recognizable. But how does it hold so much power. It's a dangerous weapon that takes no prisoners. It''s more powerful then a hurricane, and quieter then the night sky. It changes people. It changes everything. It warps perspective and clouds the mind. It brings moments to life that are unforgettable and stirs up the strongest emotions. Why are we inherently searching for love? to give love and receive love. The worlds true currency and the essence of the human condition. Why is it so hard to capture something so pure and powerful? Why is it so hard to hold onto this? There is nothing that weakens me like the thought of loving someone. The most impossible irrational and perfect experience. Full surrender of the self, trusting someone else with your most protected self. Full vulnerability and trust. How do we know it's worth it? What happens when you fall out of love? And there is nothing left. Can we lose the capacity to love someone who we once loved more then anything else. If love is sacrifice, the ultimate sacrifice, there is no guarantee you will walk away with anything intact. You may lose everything. Walking into the dark with your heart in a million irreparable pieces. The torment of loving someone, the agony of losing yourself, the hardship of sharing yourself-I can't imagine the appeal to any of it, but then I see the fall. And it's so beautiful. The beginnings are so perfect. The moment, the look, the feeling. And I know how it lures you in. the sweetest innocence and the grandest promise of transformation. So you leap with both feet in, that is if you get up the courage. Sacrifice your heart to the worthy individual who makes you see life as a possibility instead of a challenge. Because perhaps, just maybe it's the fall. The euphoria and the intensity of the fall-if you are brave enough to dare-that will change  you. Leave you left holding your glass heart in front of you with eyes squeezed shut tightly, daring to fall.