"Hello, can you hear me? I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be When we were younger and free I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet..."

"You are trying your best to make sense of a whole new world and a whole new self. It's scary to take steps towards independence and I wish I could help you feel softer towards yourself while you explore what that actually means. The dynamic nature of your experience right now is completely normal and those high highs and low lows are a ride that you will get used to and learn to appreciate." -Sara Bareilles

 "I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me." -The wild.

Because these things will change
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come
For us to finally win

taylor swift

Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing

I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now

I'll give you everything I am

All my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand

And I will make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

And how long can we keep this up, up, up?

christina.perri.

"Above us, the wind blew and the branching shadows rearranged themselves on our skin. Gus squeezed my hand. "It is a good life, Hazel Grace.”

Have you ever had that feeling that you were accidently dropped into someone else's life?

You look around and wonder how your landscape has evolved so drastically,

and you find yourself surrounded by newness...

and realize it's everything you ever wanted,

and you just hope so much that it stays this way,

but even if it doesn't,

you know for the moment,

in the here and now,

you're going to absorb as much as possible,

and be grateful for every second of living you get to experience.

It's funny,

because I've wanted it to be this way for so long...

when people say "I"ve waited my whole life for this moment,"

I think I've never truly understood that statement,

but now it makes more sense.

There are some things you wait forever for,

moments,

rites of passage,

and there is no other way to get to your end goal but to put in the time,

and remain patient,

and charge forward into the unknown.

It's a beautiful thing,

to have one of your dreams come true.

It's a part of the journey,

but an epic milestone along the way.

Can it be inspiration for other dream chasers?

Found my way,

following the footsteps of people who went before me.

The authors, the dedicated musicians, the oscar winners, the explorers...

those people have shown that anything is possible,

just translate this to your own story.

I never doubted that any circumstance that came along for me was an opportunity.

I know that life is a series of choices,

with a cause and effect following those decisions.

Some big,

some little,

but knowing everything matters.

Everything is strung together.

I used to spend a lot of time worrying about a lot of things,

and I don't punish myself for this,

because maybe worrying and planning and strategizing is part of the reason I am where I am.

Although,

it's important to mention that worrying without action is pointless.

As an overall rule,

 you can live freely,

if you understand that some things are in your control,

but most things aren't.

And you shouldn't worry about things out of your control,

you will find yourself much happier.

I can't stress enough the importance of not missing out.

Life is always happening,

whether you are where you want to be,

whether things are going the way you want them too,

whether your feeling triumph or tragedy,

it never stops.

So soak it all up,

don't try to rewind or fastforward,

but be right in the present.

And try to realize the beauty in it all.

Because otherwise you will miss out.

And some things take a lot of time,

and that time is not wasted if you use it really live.

I used to think that the most important thing was not to settle,

and I still think this is important.

But I also see how necessary it is to learn along the way.

As you travel down the path on your way to achieving those dreams,

snatch up all those opportunities,

appreciate the beauty in the little things,

enjoy the moment,

even if nothing is going the way you want it too.

Because if you can do this,

then you are living to the fullest extent possible.

And as you make your way along the windy road of life,

you will find you have no regrets when you look backwards.

I thought once,

you had to have it all.

You needed to be in the place you wanted to be,

and you needed to be doing the job you wanted to do,

and you needed to have the lifestyle and bank account that enabled all of it.

But as I gaze backwards,

I am so grateful that I took the opportunities along the way to practice being a better human,

and I found joy in failures,

and beauty in the mundane.

Because that's life,

and I only hope that I had learned that lesson faster.

But maybe that's something that develops with time,

and age and life wisdom. 

So now that things are the way they are,

the next step is to start building a new list.

Find some things that matter,

fill in the gaps,

set some goals,

and keep at it.

Try to shoot a tiny bit higher then before,

and know that nothing is impossible.

The last 10 years should prove that,

A resident of six states,

multiple job changes,

countless addresses,

new relationships,

and many different landscapes.

So what comes next?

A blank slate,

waiting to be filled?

I'm ready and I'm open to the newness that comes with starting over.

I will practice an active living,

with open mind and open heart.

I will continue to push myself outside what is comfortable,

and evolve into a better version of self.

I will listen to the stories of other people who cross my path,

to search for connection and grow my perspective,

and I will fill up a new list,

and begin to walk down an untraveled path,

soaking up all the beauty I can along the way.

Life is shorter then we hope it to be,

the only option is to enjoy it.

Thankful for a past,

grateful for a present,

hopeful for a future.