“You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.”

"Without the night, the day cannot exist on its own. It is night that prepares you for the day, it is night that rejuvenates you, gives you energy back."

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet,

because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful.

Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

-Elizabeth Gilbert (From blog 11/7)

The most functional relationship I can think of between two existing forces is the sun and the moon. Two forces, beings of energy, constantly intertwined in a perfect rhythm of harmonious existence. It makes me think of soul mates. Recently I have settled on the idea that soul mates definitely exist (of course I have always believed this) but true soul mates can never coexist. (refer to above quote) This whole idea that true love, true passion, true connection can only occur in the absence of physical presence because that type of love, the soul mate love, is something that defies time and space. Soul mates are soul mates because of the connection but moreso what makes someone your soul mate is the fact that they have shown you more about yourself then anyone else ever could. Therefore making the sun and moon true soul mates. Night cannot be without the day, they are two equal parts to one bigger union (time) but they can never exist simultaneously...

On a separate but related topic let's throw superheros into the mix. A stereotypical hero fits a few different qualifications. Firstly, they live a double life. They have a side of themselves that is kept "hidden" from their normal everyday functioning. Secondly, there is some form of "sacrifice" made in order to assist the "greater picture" in a battle for good vs. evil. Thirdly, there is some tragedy in that individuals past (usually something related to family) that isolates them to the point where they feel unable to maintain normal relationships...

Soul mates and super heroes aren't so different. They are just like the sun and the moon. This epic duality of conflicting forces that when synced and functioning in opposition create this perfect harmony. Mind boggling. Look deeper into any character study of any of the classic super heroes and you will find an individual who struggles with sacrifice, isolation, connection, influence, "ultimate choices," responsibility, the desire to feel like they belong while knowing they will never be able to have the normalcy they are fighting to maintain for others. It's tragic, but it's amazingly profound. How is this different then someone who has found their soul mate (by my definition)...well really it's quite similar. Finding your soul mate is like accepting your super hero status. You realize that you have a responsibility to a greater force then yourself (love). But this is only proven without a doubt by sacrifice (separation). Therefore you must feel isolation before you can appreciate connection. Yet your soul mate has the ability to bring out a part of you that no one else can (influence). And there is this deep longing desire to belong to another person while knowing that your soul mate will only balance you in their absence. Again tragic, but amazingly proud.

Another interesting thing to note about super heroes and soul mates is how this relates to time and physical space. Using super heroes as a metaphor for sacrifice and soul mates as a metaphor for love...these are ideas that cannot be measured in any physical way. There is no set specific definition, no way to contain it in a way we can understand. They are endless, boundless, and infinite. Yet, for being such complicated topics, it's something that is so basic to our human nature. It's the driving force...and related to so many other things...passion, longing, tragedy, dedication, loyalty. It's universal to all people and forces of nature.

I'll leave you with this...can you find ultimate love without making ultimate sacrifice? Is it possible to find harmony in separation? Or is the most impossibly perfect soul mate someone who lives a double life as a super hero? 

If I am the Moon, where is my Sun? 

"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past." — Chris McCandless

This is what I wonder: Perhaps, having faith in the unknown, really trusting in something you cannot know for certain, is not only accepting there there may not be any answers, but ultimately to stop searching for them....

"...the sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head..."

— Bear Meat by Primo Levi

"When a young person is moved by a passion and feels compelled to go on this sort of quest, I think you have to let him. You can't stop him. In our culture we don't have formal rights of passage like in some ancient cultures. Subjecting yourself to risk... may be something you have to go through to be a man or a woman."

-Jon Krakauer

"Sometimes my need to love hurts-- myself, my family, my cause. Is there a cure? Of course. But I refuse. Refuse to stop loving, to stop caring. To avoid those tears, that pain...To err on the side of passion is human and right and the only way I'll live." (Jon Krakauer)

The harder the search the greater the disconnect.

"We don't have time for that. All I want is to find an easier way to get out of our little heads. Have heart my dear, We're bound to be afraid..."

This song reminds of winter. This song reminds me of night time and stars. This song reminds me of a lot.

Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"The way life treats you is a merciless mirror image of your attitude toward life"

"WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE"

-Perks of Being a Wallflower

I have never understood that before tonight.

Things I learned about myself:

Realization of the way that I communicate, or don't communicate with other people...

The concept of speaking with a constant filter

Grasping the idea of never allowing love to be viewed as an unconditional emotion, but rather this idea of input/output interactions.

Honestly believing in two contradictory statements, because it is simply not explainable any other way.