“This is what I like about photographs. They're proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect.”
All my life you know
I haven't been very love strong
'Cause there's so many fights
That I fought and never won
So I decided that I should just give up...
I haven't been very love strong
'Cause there's so many fights
That I fought and never won
So I decided that I should just give up...
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive."
THE JOYFULNESS IN ANTICIPATING,
THE GRATITUDE IN BLESSINGS,
THE EXCITEMENT IN THE ADVENTURE
AND THE DOMINATION OF LOVE IN ALL THINGS.
“There are so many things I can't believe. That people deserve what they get, both bad and good. That one day I'll live in a world where people are judged by what they do instead of who they are. That happy endings don't have contingencies and conditions.”
I know it's been far too long,
and with every intention to remain truthful and honest
about the events that have been occurring.
Honestly time, slips away so quickly and I've been treading the seas
on lifes open water, just trying to keep my head above it all.
Its amazing to me how the lessons of importance continue to circulate.
Basically, you try and try to learn lessons about
patience,
bravery,
integrity,
love, beauty,
hopefulness....
Because really these are the tools that will be needed through it all.
Even though it's a different place, a different setting, still I find myself wondering the same-
how did I get here?
what am I doing?
how can I make it matter?
and love, still so many questions about love.
Which, I've said before, is the core characteristic of it all.
To love harder then ever, this is easy,
but to accept the love that is being offered becomes the challenge.
Letting yourself be loved,
provides a vulnerability that is beautiful and terrifying.
The priority is loving yourself,
and then the next step in the process is allowing yourself to receive love from another person.
It all matters, but hey-
I don't understand love and I don't think I ever will-
but I'm going to try my hardest,
because at the end of the day I don't want to be lonely.
But actually, I would rather be alone then lonely with another person.
Do you know understand what exactly I mean when I say that?
Another thing is complacency.
Struggling daily with the responsibilities of living in this world,
with all the money and stuff that is needed to make our brief stay comfortable.
I realize the sadness that involves the sacrifice for which is necessary.
Not that things matter to me,
they never have
and they never will.
What i live for is the adventure in the experience,
the adventure in the travels,
the adventure in the new places with new people.
But i want security, so I sacrifice tiny bits of of adventure,
replacing it with simplicity,
but fighting conformity.
What scare me the most, above all,
is that i will snuff the flame out, and lose the fire and passion,
for the exploration, the adventures, the spontaneousness...
I don't want to lose such an important part of my soul,
of who I am as someone who detaches, drifter, wanders...
this is of extremely importance.
But for now I will lay down my suitcase and commit to living a simple life,
storing up the means to drift into the wild again.
Thus gathering self-discipline,
ability to commit to the here and now of what life is offering.
A chance to find success within a profession,
and to fine tune the important aspects...
love, patience, beauty...
A chance to "sit on my hands" again until the time is right.
For this is a new type of adventure,
consistency through responsibility,
financial commitment, promises to build a stronger foundation of life.
To integrate into society as a working adult,
to delve in the chance to prove that in any situation,
I am my own adversary to overcome the unthinkable.
All the while making love matter,
appreciating the quieter moments,
remembering to take time for myself to celebrate the things I love,
and to working on the things that are lacking,
to continually create a better version of self.
Agreeing to still see the beauty in the unexpected parts of live,
but even more difficult,
finding beauty in the consistency of life.
Hoping that it doesn't wear me down,
hoping that my spirit remains intact,
hoping that my adventure is not compromised,
rather well prepared for when the right time comes.
Seizing the moment,
making sure that I remain hopeful and brave and patient.
Remembering beauty and love first,
remembering it all matters.
Really...
it does all matter.