"All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Darling family. And Peter Pan chose this particular house because there were people here who believed in him. " -Peter Pan
A dreams a dream
And all this livings so much harder than it seems
But girl don't let your dreams be dreams
You know this livings not so hard as it seems
Jack. Johnson.
"I can’t fight the sun. I can only watch helplessly as it drags me into a day that I’ve been dreading for months."
(Katniss Everdeen)
I tried my best,
to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved...
'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe,
that it's easier for you to let me go
ARMS.
Christina Perri
Being on a boat that's moving through the water, it's so clear. Everything falls into place in terms of what's important and what's not. James. Taylor.
Here's the thing... there's a lot of things in life I've figured out I don't want.
Lots of people, I don't want to be be like, jobs I don't want to end up in, places I don't want to live.
Why is it so much easier in life to figure out what you don't want...
It's not a problem with people, I love and respect so many people in my life,
and I admire what they are doing and how they got there.
I just want something different for me.
And don't ask me what it is, i have no clue, and don't judge me or try to fix me.
I'm not broken, this is just who I am.
Accept that.
I hate when you sound so judgmental,
One of the things I appreciate most about myself,
I'm open minded and I'm a people lover.
I am slow to judge, slow to find the fault.
I celebrate similarities and adore differences.
I'm not so exclusive I won't let anyone in,
and I will never judge you, categorize you, stereotype you, exclude you.
People are people are people are people.
Life is too short to hate and judge, stop building walls,
let others in, expand your horizons, leave your comfort zone,
take chances, seize opportunity,
fight complacency.
I spent a week on the beautiful blue Caribbean waters,
it was the best week of my life...
No phone, no internet, no e-mail, no texts, no twitter, no blogging.
I was away from it all, and I thought it would be so difficult, but instead-
I felt so liberated.
And suddenly the only thing that mattered was:
the smell of the air,
the color of the sunset,
the sounds of the ocean,
the company I was in,
the people I met,
the heat of the sun,
the number of stars in the night sky,
everything natural and wonderful and beautiful and perfect.
Sometimes I hate the burden of having modern technology,
although I'll be the first to admit that I could not live without the wonderful invention of a cell phone.
Especially being miles and miles and miles away from my friends, my family, and everything important.
But it feels like a heavy chain since I've been back,
and I want everything natural and wonderful and beautiful and perfect.
Stop asking me what the plan is, where I'm going, what I'm doing, where I'm living...
I have no idea.
It's all in the adventure.
And just watch, it's happening...
right.
now.
Well what I really wanted to address in this post was dreams.
How can they be so powerful that they are able to alter your entire state of reality?
Have you ever been uncertain if you were awake or asleep before?
Lately my dreams have been really crazy,
Every now and then, especially in the last year, when my entire life seems surreal,
I get caught in this period where my dreams are more reality then my awake state,
because the way I'm living, the places I'm going, the things I'm doing,
are so brand new, and I'm surrounded by nothing familiar, and I'm experiencing first experiences....
I think it feels like a dream where you can't wake up.
Not in that horrifying way,
but in the exhausting way, where you are just wondering how long it's going to last,
but then you realize that this is your self-created reality.
The places in your dreams, the deep city lights, and the crystal blue waters, and the way the clouds look outside an airplane window,
that's all real.
And everything else that's comfortable and familiar,
those are memories,
those are dreams.
No longer living in the reality you knew,
but integrating into the reality that you have created.
Learning everything brand new for the first time.
Gaining independence, expanding your perspective.
Hating the haters, who judge from their thrones of simplicity and mundane life,
hating the walls and the obstacles that hold you back from ever enjoying the pureness of experiencing something that's brand new,
for the first time.
It's hard to be the person I want to be.
I work at it every day, all day, fall asleep, wake up and try again.
But i'm becoming more and more the version of self,
through a process of painful evolution and extreme isolation,
I've become more of me then I ever have.
Even when the line between reality and dreams blur together,
I know it's because I don't quit,
the fight, the adventure, the passion...
it's all still there,
reappearing in altered states.
And it all matters.
