“I'd had a little feeling of destiny. Because, you see, what I mean about affinities is true from friendships down to even the accidental glance at someone on the street-there's always a definite reason somewhere. I think even the poets would agree with me.”

“...nothing wonderful lasted forever. Joy was as fleeting as a shooting star that crossed the evening sky, ready to blink out at any moment.” 

 “Where does a story truly begin? In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings, those moments when we can, in looking back, say that everything started. Yet there are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives, setting in motion a sequence of events whose outcome we could never have foreseen.” 

“I was falling. Falling through time and space and stars and sky and everything in between. I fell for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. I fell until I forgot I was falling.” 

Stay tonight
Don't come morning, don't come light
They may be lies, but say that we'll be alright
If we stay tonight

“She was conscious of the moments passing like irrevocable time, irrevocable happiness, for in these last seconds she might turn and see the face she would never see again.” 

Life is strangely honest with us.

Whenever you think you’ve reached a point where all of it makes total sense,

you get a funny reminder that nothing is ever as it seems.

Which is truly what I think makes everything so damn interesting.

It's the reason you can’t stop,

you can’t settle,

you have to keep wandering and exploring.

I have known that this is true for quite a while,

but I reach a lull where I forget.

And things seem a little bit more ordinary,

and pieces fall into place nicely.

And when you take a step back at the full picture you see how much actually went into it.

All of a sudden it becomes less ordinary,

and transforms into extraordinary.

I am constantly finding that I can endure more things then I realize I can.

And new experiences creates a new strength,

and a new perception,

and a new journey.

When you think back to before the unknown was known,

don’t you find that you couldn’t endure the same thing twice?

Because when you have the experience once,

you know what to expect

You prepare and visualize,

and can accurately weigh the pros and cons of it all.

Unlike the first time,

where all you have is a goal,

and the challenge of creating tasks that sequentially lead to the accomplishment.

It’s funny how we can do something the first time so fearlessly,

but then that experience is tainted,

and each time you encounter something similar,

you are too prepared to approach it without a sense of anxiety.

I guess some things are like that and others aren’t.

But I truly think that I have a craving for those things that are that way.

So I can continue to live with a brave fearlessness,

and an innocence toward the unknown.

But try not to repeat it again,

because knowing can be too difficult.

It’s funny the way that contradicts itself-

the idea of fearing the unknown and change,

but knowing that it is a lesser fear then knowing and having to do it again.

Human nature is the most amazing thing.

The way we connect with each other,

the layers and layers of complexity we have,

as we move about the world.

It’s never only one way,

and the funny part is,

we sometimes just have to ask in order to peel away another layer.

We form these barriers to keep some people in

and to keep others out.

There’s no one way it always happens.

Usually though,

we bump around in the dark looking for another similar being,

wandering about in the same way.

Someone who understand us a bit better than most,

someone who soothes us in ways that others can’t.

Someone who forces us to peel back the layers,

and show who we truly are beneath the complexity.

And I think at core of everything, we look the same.

We are both hopeful and damaged,

we are searching for happiness and love,

we appreciate a real sense of security,

we desire companionship,

and we are selfish.

We know that even though it’s not the same for everyone,

when we find something we like,

we hang on tightly.

Afraid to let it go because it may not ever return,

afraid to expose too much,

because we are afraid of vulnerability.

We prey on those relationships because they hold us up,

higher than most normal things,

and the undeniability of it all is that it may be mutual,

but it's hard to say the things we really mean,

because sometimes those things don’t reveal themselves to us.

It’s hard to be in the world sometimes,

It’s hard not to be so selfish,

and it's hard to not hold on so tightly to the things that make us who we are.

It’s hard to move away from the circle of comfort we create by gravitating towards those similarities,

and it’s hard to step out into some unknown.

I guess I never thought it would be easy,

but more easier at times.

I wonder why then,

if it’s so hard to fight against this unknown,

why it still feels harder to replicate a new experience.

Nothing happens the same way twice,

but are fear of vulnerability,

and having to find ourselves back in a place where we don’t understand,

is enough to steer in a different direction.

I think unexpected vulnerability may be easier,

because you have no choice.

You are backed up against a wall and there is only one way out.

You can’t strategize or prepare,

you just have to act.

You endure simply to survive,

and there is a beauty found in the vulnerability of surviving.

I have so much more to learn about all of it,

or maybe it’s just this simple.

I don’t really know.

I just hope that I can find ways to move about the world honestly,

and I can fear the unknown,

but still create a hopefulness in the journey.

That I can experience,

but remain humble and innocent.

That when I find the thing that makes me who I am,

I can hold it until it's time to let it go,

and practice being selfless instead of selfish.

The important part is that we keep trying,

because there’s beauty in imperfections,

patience is obtained by both learning and practicing.

And after all,

things never happen the same way twice.