'Some years ago — never mind how long precisely — having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world." -Moby Dick

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
BUT THESE STORIES DON'T MEAN ANYTHING
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules-The Story Brandi Carlile

"Who is it that loves me and will love me forever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can do away?"

Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way
Don’t you wanna stay?

-Don't You Wanna Stay (Jason Aldean & Kelly Clarkson)

So no matter what you been through, No matter what you into
No matter what you see when you look outside your window
Brown grass or green grass-Picket fence or barbed wire
Never ever put them downYou just lift your arms higher
Raise em till’ your arms tired
Let em’ know you’re their That you struggling and survivin’ that you gonna persevere
Yeah, ain’t no body leavin, no body goin’ home Even if they turn the lights out the show is goin’ on!
Alright, already the show goes on Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up

Just remember when you come up The show goes on!

-Lupe Fiasco

Well, let's just see how this goes...shall we. Okay...here it is...been thinking a lot lately about affection. How does one show to another that they care about them? Why does love have so many translations? What happens when one person expresses love to another in a specific way, and what happens if the other person understands love in a different language? What makes a bond between two people? What is the breaking point? I don't think I understand love, and I don't think I ever will. I want too though. I have this inner desire that craves relationships and interaction. There is something beautiful about taking the time to sit and listen to someone tell their story, in the same way one might appreciate self-expression through song, painting, writing, photographs, dancing, acting, anything really. This is how I feel...I don't want to get to carried away here. Been having these reoccurring thoughts lately though. Mostly about love, and the expression of love. I feel stuck though, and it changes how I feel about everything...There is a whole mural of questions I have in my head...wondering how leaving someone could equal love. How is that possible? Is love leaving, if that's the right thing? Is loving someone always doing the right thing? Or is love honesty? Is love loneliness or separation? Is this how we know that we love...by being apart? Is loving oneself possible without constant self-improvement? What causes us to love another? Body chemicals? Common interest? Physical Characteristics? Feeling secure? Maybe love can't be explained at all, perhaps this is why I'm struggling so deeply to understand it. But what is life without love? It's so necessary. Not even loving another person, but loving an activity, a song, a hobby, a sunset, a novel, a pet...I may argue that it's so vital. I wish this wasn't so confusing to me. So very confusing...I'm thinking learning to love yourself can be the most difficult hurtle to jump, because in order to love I believe you have to have an understanding...full comprehension-and that means digging deep. Which can be scary...soul searching. Shit. That's really real. Appreciating yourself for who you are despite what you come from. Understanding yourself on a whole...mind, body, soul. To learn healthy strategies for bonding. To understand what bond has been broken. To repair the damage you may not even understand, or injuries you don't know you have endured. This is just how I feel. I think so many people express love to others in so many ways it's hard to differentiate where you fall on the spectrum. But somewhere...This doesn't have to make sense, there is nothing to be understood. There is no context. Rambling I know. But I had to ask...