I've recently had this feeling like I am in the middle of experiencing both a beginning and an ending.
I find that in all this excitement to take forward steps,
I've looked behind me to see all the progress I made,
but I didn't look at all the things I was leaving behind.
I have been so desperate and successful at making changes quickly I realize now that I have moved closer to what is to come and farther from what was.
I no longer feel uncertain about many things I felt uncertain about before, but rather I feel extremely certain about things I couldn't even imagine before.
It's leaving me feeling like I'm floating around in an in-between space again. Not quite here fully, and not quite there fully. Not quite anywhere.
I have one foot in the past and one in the present.
I have a feeling November is about to teach me more about personal strength and dedication then anything I've learned thus far.
In love with September,
grateful for October,
anxious for November,
Excited for December.
I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility.
You know, that feeling?
And I remember thinking to myself:
So, this is the beginning of happiness.
This is where it starts.
And of course there will always be more.
It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning.
It was happiness.
It was the moment.
Right then.
-The Hours (2002) Meryl Streep
"To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face
and to know it for what it is.
and to know it for what it is.
At last to know it, to love it for what it is,
and then, to put it away."
-Virginia Woolf
I can only note that
the past is beautiful
because one never realises an emotion at the time.
It expands later,
and thus we don't have complete emotions about the present,
only about the past.
-Virginia Woolf